how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
