i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize