Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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