apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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