In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
