you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
