all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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