I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
