It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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