too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
