His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
