it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
