I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
