Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
