I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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