a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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