Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
