how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
