ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the day after is always just damage control
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
