How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
