we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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