i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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