I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She made me pour olive oil on her.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
