bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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