Christians are straight up FREAKS
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
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I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
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Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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