I feel like I'm in dance class right now
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize