There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
