if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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