We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize