Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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