Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
