if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
