hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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