I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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