I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
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I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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