just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im holly from the hills drunk
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
