Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
