I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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