He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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