He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
