im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
