all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
3pm strippers are depressing
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
