she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize