you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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