If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This is my gift to your gina
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
