I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
