I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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