lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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