hell yes lets make some ravioli
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
