week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
