I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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