I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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