why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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