he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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