Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
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I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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