Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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