Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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