So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
