im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
