i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
