im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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