Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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